Momma Mantras | Dr. Heidi Skye
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Momma Mantras


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I am on vacation (oh ya!) with my family in Lake Tahoe. Being surrounded by nature and enjoying days of hiking, swimming with the kids and teaching them to play hearts is heavenly. That said, my kids are teens. Sigh. And that comes with its own special sauce of random pressure points.

For instance, despite the fact that my kids take endless selfies they will not let me take photos of them! Really? Why not? No reason. Apparently only they can take photos of themselves jumping in the lake or eating BBQ. And I have to say it pisses me off! How I am going to catalog this vacation? How can I not have photos of it for when I am an oldster and need to remember this trip?

There are a couple of things that I tell myself often when feeling parental stress. I can pull back from the moment with a mantra that helps me be a better parent and less reactive.

 
So I thought I would share some of my mommy mantras that put life in perspective for me.

This too shall pass.

An unknown Sufi poet can help me in my life today by reminding me that this moment — the “I-want-to-pull-my-hair-out,” yell at my kids or literally have a full scale mommy meltdown — is only a moment in time. I can remember this moment shall pass, take a deep breath and reset.

On the flip side, this mantra also reminds me to savor the sweet moment on the beach where my son was making an ant boat with a piece of driftwood. His childhood is flying by!

All forms disappear.

From pets to friends, from favorite stuffed animals to treasured pottery made by our kids, things break or go away. No thing is permanent. This reminder from Eckhart Tolle reinforces the idea of the transient nature of life and that we are not in control.

This one can also be difficult. It’s useful to remember when someone breaks a glass and spills milk, and also when someone we love dies. Kids are often better at recognizing how something can be temporary than we, who have been around for many more years.

Only the love is real.

Thank you Marianne Williamson (from the bottom of my heart) for sharing this gem with me from A Short Course in Miracles. My stinky son, insolent daughter, cranky spouse, checked out teacher, annoying friend of my kid and snotty clerk at the grocery store are all living breathing souls who have feelings, bad days and sweet moments. Focusing on them as being love instead of hating their in-the-moment mood resets my reaction.

What we focus on grows greater in our minds, and the stories we tell ourselves create our world. I have a choice whether to focus on love (or fear or anger or judgment) — and when I do, I remember what is great about being a mom.

Now, don’t keep these mantras to yourselves! Sprinkle them into your conscious conversations with your kids. Discuss them and empower your kids to develop their own mantras to help them navigate the seas of their lives.

In the meantime, when I watch my kids at play on vacation, I’m going to stop wishing I had a photo to look back on and remind myself that by being fully in the moment I can create an image in my mind that I can review even if there isn’t a framed print on the wall. (And that brings to mind another of my favorite mantras: Be Here Now.)

I’d love to know what mantras you use to get yourself back on track as a parent. Share yours in the comments below. For even more wisdom on parenting, join my upcoming course for Revolutionary, Evolutionary Parents launching this fall. Sign up here to be the first to know when Well-Beings opens up.

1 Comment
  • Alane Freund
    Posted at 02:15h, 24 July Reply

    Thank you Heidi! Great post. Here is one of mine: THINK before I speak…that means: Is it Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary and Kind? Borrowed from Al Anon literature (the 12 Step program for families and friends of alcoholics.)

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